TO BE OR NOT TO BE, YOU'LL ACCEPT ME ANYWAY

i was rendering a fashion sketch for a real elegant and 

beautiful wedding dress commissioned by a friend 

for her wedding, when I heard noise of unrecognized 

voices of children and adults’ laughter and funny 

screams. “ hoooyyyy…baklaaaa…baklaaa!” 

“hahahaha…ang pula ng lipstick mo bayoooottt”.

“weeeeeehhh!.....yeheyyyy…miss gay na!” 

“hoyyyy…. stopppp!!!!...tigillll…tigilll kayooooo!!!

Baka biglang umulan!” “hahahahah!!!”.

 

I hastily stood up and peep through our window and saw a group of young “gays” parading complete with fashionable get ups and heavily made up. I thought it was funny and funnier the way local folks in our small town reacted to the sight.

Those were the days when homosexuality was regarded as a mortal sin, and one has to keep it a secret rather than risk of exposing himself and be declared persona non grata. During that time, having a homosexual for a son was like a curse in the entire family, and it was regarded as a shame to the community

  

Blessed be me, for being gifted by Almighty father with talent in arts. I was able to move and built a small fashion house in busy Bolton Street, Davao City. 

Having a fashion business in the city exposed me to the company of gays in the industry. In fact fashion world is similar to movie world; it is a gay’s world so to speak. It was then that I came to realize that gays are extremely talented, charismatic, and artistic people and they are likewise lovable people too! In today’s modern world, society is more tolerant and less judgmental. Gays, I think, overcrowded the world. I think in any field I can think of, there is always somewhere someone a gay.  May he be a closet queen or a screaming fagot? In fact, if there are gay actors and directors, there are also gay teachers, lawyers, businessmen, even gay priests and gay law enforcers!

just emagine a scenario if the policemen are gay:

Policeman #1:  “hoy atching! Mag may I raise your 

hands na at clap 1 2 3!…..napapaligiran na kitwa!”

Hold upper:        “etsos ka twe! Over my dead sexwy beautiful bra huh!”

Policeman #2:    “ mataray  oyot kwah!....pag di kwa mag-may I go out, mag disappear ka na lang sa around the world!”

Naku day ka-loka talaga….pero ang saya-saya! This is a crazy world endeed!

Almost everyone would see the gleeful facade that overshadowed the suppressed inner desire to be accepted as what they really are (very few truly does). Even in this modern society where a lot of gays have carved a niche to their name, still people and sectarian groups differ in their perceptions.

 

One day as I came from a business appointment, I happened to park my car, as I unloaded assortment of fabrics and accessories, in front a small eatery. Guys obviously drank and secretly passing on a lighted short “cigarette”. 

I heard one say: ahhhh…syaraaaappppp!!!!!...wheeeewww lakas tama preh!, Puffing out a thick smoke with drowsy eyes.  I think I knew what it was, because if it were an ordinary cigarette, then they will not keep it a secret. When I reached inside my shop, I saw the front page of the news paper, “a woman murdered”. 
 

This made me think, here are “normal” young healthy men, wasting their time on vices. People, who kill, waste their time on drugs. Macho men, who just love themselves so much and use women as their trophy, Men who are contented of sleeping instead of working and feeding their family.

 What is more disgusting? What is more despicable? Are gays better than men? Or are gays doomed to hell? Maybe your answer will differ than mine.

 This inner realization made me think and search all my gay friends’ eyes and I can see the gloomy sparkle in everyone’s eyes, as they laugh with gusto, unto each other’s jokes. Yes they have the capability to laugh at their own selves. I can’t help but admire their inner strength, to enjoy each day, to catch each opportunity to create their world of fantasy. To endure all the beatings they got from this very harsh world. But beyond those smiles and hearty laughter, is the desire to live a life that you and I do. 

I noticed, they often times keep around the company of fellow gays or within the circle of people who openly accepted their identity. people who knew and understand what it feels like to experience hurt and rejection. i think, different as they may be, they also know what it is like to want a relationship with God. Often times as i stare into their eyes, i felt the sparkle in their eyes meant different, i felt like it were wondering, asking;  is their hope for any of us?

At times, we tend to be judgmental and discriminating. We tend to look at other people through ourselves or we tend to search for ourselves in someone else’s personality. We forgot that each one of us is unique. We forgot that God created us according to His plan and purpose. Am sure some would raise their eyebrows and blurt out….”
  

What God’s plan and purpose are you talking about? Does God created t them to be gays?” 

                                                                                                        
Am sure not, but I do believe things happen for reason. Maybe good or bad, for now I can’t say why…or what or how. But I do believe, whoever we are, and whatever we are, we all have our rights to live under the same sun created by God. And we all have the right to be whatever and whoever we are, and we can all use our uniqueness to glorify Him that created us according to his image and glory.                                                                                                              

Everyone wants change, We know from personal experience that change is not possible, through our own strength alone. And we know from personal experience how change happens and what change looks like. We don't have any right either to demand change from someones personality. it is only God who knows how his being he or she can be used for His glory. Because we know for sure, that change is only possible through God!

 

OPRAH WINFREY’S SHOW AND PEACEBOOK, FISHBOOK, FACEBOOK….

Like the ancient Jews, Filipinos are scattered all over the world. You name it, there hardly any country that has no Filipino expatriate or immigrant. Even in war thorn countries. Perhaps this is brought about by the incapability of our government to provide the much needed jobs, so we will be able to live a comfortable, descent lives. It is a sad reality that Filipinos have to struggle so hard to be able to afford a humane way of living so to speak, that most of us had been used to hardships, got tired of appealing and complaining that making a joke out of any situation, became our therapy.

One early Friday morning, (Jeddah, Saudi Arabia time) when I entered the hallway of our Christian church, I found my sisters and brothers in Christ gathered, shared jokes and had good laughs about how some of us mispronounced the facebook. We don’t have letter f in our alphabets, so the most common mistake is; we often pronounce f as p. It’s very common to hear somebody say, “I have pisbook”! Or “we are peacebook prins”. The more educated ones will intentionally pronounce it as fishbook, or pacebook to add more funny sounding twist. Truly I think the highest number of facebook users is Filipinos.  We are thankful for having facebook in our lives. From businessmen, executives, clerks, to a simple labor worker, a domestic helper, nannies, grannies, housewives and kids, have facebook account. To me facebook is a tool to kill the time, exchange pleasantries, and spread good or bad news. Something you can turn to when you are bored to death, or rather something that has no need to be taken seriously. Little did I know that an incident will happen that will change my perception on facebook forever.

This is my story:

My youngest son is named Juan Paulo. He is sixteen years old and has a congenital heart defect. Since he was five months old, I was already advised several times by the doctors of his dire need for heart surgery. But due to financial constraint, I was not able to submit him for the operation.
Due to his condition, game is a luxury he cannot play. So he spent most of his time watching TV. Not soon after, his interest was caught by Oprah's show, and he became Oprah's great fan. Not missing a day, wide eyed watching her help kids from all over the world through her angel foundation. Then he started to build his dreams and draw inspiration from it.


He was 12 years old at that time, when one day with great hope, he wrote a letter to her, asking her to help him get a heart surgery. The day he sent his letter, he started counting and waiting everyday with great hope for the good news. Then one day the moment came. He could hear the beating of his heart, with excitement as he run his eyes through the answer from one of Oprah's staff saying: we are very sorry, we hope you understand that due to the bulk of the request that we receive in our site, we cannot assist you in your request. His shoulders along with his jaws dropped as he tasted the tears that rolled down his eyes.

Like a wounded soldier, trying to regain his lost stand, he started to turn to politicians, who also failed him. Hopelessness started to engulf his existence. Though at times he thought only of one thing, "GOD HAS A PURPOSE IN MY LIFE" and it’s what kept him going.


Then in the month of November 2010, after dinner, he started to have seizures, and he started to vomit blood. It was his worst attack. With the help of Davao City's 911, he was brought in time to the hospital. The X-rays, ECG and other test revealed that his arteries had completely closed up! Meaning, there was not a bit of blood from the heart that went to the lungs. How he lived baffled the doctors, that discovered his damaged arteries grew new arteries that went to the lung and supply the blood to his entire body! His doctor, Dr Fay Chua, can’t help but exclaimed God's wonderful miracle in him, but even then, this still has problems, because some of the arteries that grew are too small, that it cannot stand the pressure of the blood. Plus there was a bleeding in his brain that caused the seizures. These facts give way to an immediate need for surgery.

During that time, i was so financially drained, I don't have anything anymore. As a single mother of five, and the only bread winner in the family, the hospital bills left a very huge hole in my pockets. Coming up with the amount needed was a total impossibility. As I contemplate on the amount needed, I was like facing a towering mountain to climb with bare hands. All I cling to was God's promise as it is written, "MY CHILD I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU". 

Then my brother Vicente suddenly thought of posting in his FACEBOOK, reaching out to friends and relatives, from all over the world....... one after the other, help started coming in. They started sending some amounts of money they can afford, and we started accumulating it. I do believe that God had moved the hearts of people to feel Juan Paulo's need. A friend named Amira Bin Ladin learned about JP's condition, and she provided the big part of the financial need.

February 10, 2011…...It felt like a real life drama. As he is being rolled into the operating room, for the much awaited surgery, Facebook has made a dream a reality!