One friend wrote: "men's brain is between the legs!" Whoa?????.....as i scroll down i read: "men's ego is higher than the mountain ang wider than the sea!" oh oh! what's happening? Looks like women are heeding for protest! lol. Very timely for wall street protest indeed!
As i scrolled down, my friend archie posted this:
Archie PacanaOh huh, so even men have the same views? While we are in the car going to our work this morning, we indulge on the same topic....well, looks like men are the best subject when it comes to criticism huh?
or a working mother like me i really felt the pain of not being able to watch my children grow.
I was inside the faculty room (it's my free day, whuuuu... what a relief, i can do some net surfing and check my student's projects... and some extra stuff, you know what i mean....lol)i was in the middle of these thoughts, and i semi -consciously, ask a coleague (she is a saudi), "what do you think, are women better than men, or men better than women?" right away with wide eyes and without wasting a single thought, she blurted out, "oh oh....of course we are better than men!" and i said, "why?" without batting an eyelash she said, "we are more intelligent, we are compassionate, lovable, responsible....." "we can multi-task, we are hard workers, we are loyal!" answered another colleague from Pakistan ", and we are reliable, trustworthy dedicated, enduring etc...etc..." seems like an endless opinion of another one from Egypt.
no offense meant guys, this is not my personal opinion, but a majority observation. lol!
aving a failed marriage (mostly because of the man's attitude and incompetence issues) and due to inconceivable deferences, and having married too early with zero experience on having boyfriends, i'm having a hard time understanding men's nature. This triggered my curiosity to do some research (to be fair to men at least)!
I then found out that women expatriates had reach a phenomenal stage worldwide. From the Philippines, to Indonesia, to Borneo, to India, Sri Lanka, Ethiopia, Morocco, Egypt, Sudan, Mexico, even as to parts of Europe like Romania, Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro, Romania and Serbia, to name a few. In fact there is even a small town named Varshets, a remote town in Bulgaria’s Montana district, where there are no women left. Everyone left to work either in Italy, Spain, or any country where there is a need for menial, cheap labor, Leaving their husbands and children behind to earn money for the family. file:///C:/Users/Rose/Desktop/my%20blogs-images/references/Topic%202009%20-%20Identity%20%20Families%20Pay%20the%20Price%20as%20Women%20Go%20West%20%20%20%20Balkan%20Fellowship%20for%20Journalistic%20Excellence.htm
Sad but it's true, life is changing and so is its pattern. One could easily exclaim, "what's happening to men?" But if we are to analyze the situation, i think there is more to it than meets the eye. For one, men in general had this innate desire to keep their macho image. Nor are they comfortable confiding to someone their problems. They have the tendency to protect that image at all cost. Often times they keep their emotions to themselves, feeling like allowing someone see them cry, or express love and adoration, or express their sentiments, might degrade their machismo.
Sadly as i dig out another revelation, statistics around the world show, that more men committed suicide than women. Maybe because fewer men would seek psychiatric help when they are discouraged and depressed. It shows men are unwilling to reveal their pent-up feeling even when they felt "down" and exhausted. http://www.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Asia/Story/A1Story20111025-306969.htmlThe the most reliable information is a personal confession i had extracted from one of my best male friends Allan, who told me that they just appear strong in the outside, but they are weaker emotionally. He said women can cope up with frustrations, break-ups and pain more than they do. Further he said, women can go depressed after a break-up or any other depressing incident only 15 days (oh really?...just 2 weeks!) or 1 month the most. After that, she bounces back to life like she had never been hurt before. While it usually takes them many months or years before they can overcome the same.
I am truly amazed by the unusual coping mechanism of my other best friend named Raffy. He can take the worst financial, family and marital problem in stride. I can't forget the day when he giggled, "hihihihihi....my house has no more roof!" upon the knowledge that he lost the roof of his house in the Philippines to the Typhon that devastated their place. But when we were alone, he drop tears while reciting the litany of his problems. I usually tease him and sing to him, "i laugh with tears in my eyes, like a clown i wear at disguise.....".
Maybe his capacity to cope is due to his ability to shed a tear, and tell someone of his predicaments. lucky he, because not everyone does! I personally think that men who are not ashame to shed tears are more macho than the "plastic" ones. They are rare, but they are more real!
Further more, i think God just blessed women with unusual inner strength, considerate, compassionate and enduring hearts. What we lack physically, He always compensate emotionally, and maybe more, in some other ways.
I remembered an old friend, who told me once, "the irony of being a man is, when they see a man that has some feminine qualities, everyone thinks he is gay, but when they see women that has some masculine qualities, they will think she is strong!"
I remembered an old friend, who told me once, "the irony of being a man is, when they see a man that has some feminine qualities, everyone thinks he is gay, but when they see women that has some masculine qualities, they will think she is strong!"
Very well said! What can i say? KUDOS TO WOMEN!
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ReplyDeleteThis is a profound insight on men’s vulnerability and women’s strength, Nang. In the prehistoric time, women had been idolized by the society in Europe, Africa, and in some parts of Asia. A woman is a symbol of fertility, love, and beauty. She nurtures, raises, and inspires society, literally and figuratively. In present Asian and European culture, men are raised by their mothers, or women, in their own way, raised politicians, engineers, businessman, writers, scientists, etc. In our own culture, mothers pampered their sons with very little participation of the fathers in parenting. There is something wrong with our culture, the way men are raised by their mothers. In my own opinion, men are becoming dependent on women emotionally, psychologically, and even financially.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, in the world of men, competition of power is becoming stiff and greedy; it’s like a survival of the fittest, the Alpha Male supremacy. When a man becomes subservient to men’s world, he loses his drive and meaning to live. He withdraws from the competition and finds a substitute that would nourish and satisfy his ego, and most often, they are women, whose motherly instinct, are more than willing to console the ‘broken man’. Today it is no longer a question who is the head of the family or more intelligent whether men or women. It’s a question of character, values, and acceptance of one’s limitations.
Personally, I have a higher hope on women than men.:)
Marriage not based on love - many couples today get married for reasons other than love. Some get married because they feel they have to due to pressure from family or friends. Or they see all of there friends getting married so they feel they should too. So they rush into a marriage prematurely. Others get married because of premarital pregnancy. Couples that are too young and inexperienced who think they are in love will often get married. They may soon realize that they don't truly love this person or they are not mature enough to handle the more difficult relationship problems that may arise in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteFinancial concerns and difficulties - most couples will experience some degree of financial difficulties. This could range from frivolous spending, accruing debt to not saving any money. Unless you are wealthy expect that you will have financial difficulties at some point in your marriage. It's when these finanical burdens begin to overtake part of the relationship that the real trouble begins. If a couple cannot come to an agreement as to how to handle their finances then tension is likely to develop. The problems worsen as one tries to solve the crisis while the other only contributes to it. This places a great deal of strain on the marriage.
ReplyDeletehello dan,
ReplyDeletethank you for your contributory information. and really i do believe what you expressed are very, very true. it is really prevalent in our society in general...sometimes i can't help but sigh. sometime it's so depressing when hopelessness engulfs us thinking; no wonder, our future is going to the dogs!
yes agnes,
ReplyDeleteyou are extremely right! most often even ideal marriages we thought so, failed when financial problems set in.
just like the old saying goes, "love will fly out of the window when hunger comes".
but i think the greatest contributory factor for failed marriages is psychological.