TO BE OR NOT TO BE, YOU'LL ACCEPT ME ANYWAY

i was rendering a fashion sketch for a real elegant and 

beautiful wedding dress commissioned by a friend 

for her wedding, when I heard noise of unrecognized 

voices of children and adults’ laughter and funny 

screams. “ hoooyyyy…baklaaaa…baklaaa!” 

“hahahaha…ang pula ng lipstick mo bayoooottt”.

“weeeeeehhh!.....yeheyyyy…miss gay na!” 

“hoyyyy…. stopppp!!!!...tigillll…tigilll kayooooo!!!

Baka biglang umulan!” “hahahahah!!!”.

 

I hastily stood up and peep through our window and saw a group of young “gays” parading complete with fashionable get ups and heavily made up. I thought it was funny and funnier the way local folks in our small town reacted to the sight.

Those were the days when homosexuality was regarded as a mortal sin, and one has to keep it a secret rather than risk of exposing himself and be declared persona non grata. During that time, having a homosexual for a son was like a curse in the entire family, and it was regarded as a shame to the community

  

Blessed be me, for being gifted by Almighty father with talent in arts. I was able to move and built a small fashion house in busy Bolton Street, Davao City. 

Having a fashion business in the city exposed me to the company of gays in the industry. In fact fashion world is similar to movie world; it is a gay’s world so to speak. It was then that I came to realize that gays are extremely talented, charismatic, and artistic people and they are likewise lovable people too! In today’s modern world, society is more tolerant and less judgmental. Gays, I think, overcrowded the world. I think in any field I can think of, there is always somewhere someone a gay.  May he be a closet queen or a screaming fagot? In fact, if there are gay actors and directors, there are also gay teachers, lawyers, businessmen, even gay priests and gay law enforcers!

just emagine a scenario if the policemen are gay:

Policeman #1:  “hoy atching! Mag may I raise your 

hands na at clap 1 2 3!…..napapaligiran na kitwa!”

Hold upper:        “etsos ka twe! Over my dead sexwy beautiful bra huh!”

Policeman #2:    “ mataray  oyot kwah!....pag di kwa mag-may I go out, mag disappear ka na lang sa around the world!”

Naku day ka-loka talaga….pero ang saya-saya! This is a crazy world endeed!

Almost everyone would see the gleeful facade that overshadowed the suppressed inner desire to be accepted as what they really are (very few truly does). Even in this modern society where a lot of gays have carved a niche to their name, still people and sectarian groups differ in their perceptions.

 

One day as I came from a business appointment, I happened to park my car, as I unloaded assortment of fabrics and accessories, in front a small eatery. Guys obviously drank and secretly passing on a lighted short “cigarette”. 

I heard one say: ahhhh…syaraaaappppp!!!!!...wheeeewww lakas tama preh!, Puffing out a thick smoke with drowsy eyes.  I think I knew what it was, because if it were an ordinary cigarette, then they will not keep it a secret. When I reached inside my shop, I saw the front page of the news paper, “a woman murdered”. 
 

This made me think, here are “normal” young healthy men, wasting their time on vices. People, who kill, waste their time on drugs. Macho men, who just love themselves so much and use women as their trophy, Men who are contented of sleeping instead of working and feeding their family.

 What is more disgusting? What is more despicable? Are gays better than men? Or are gays doomed to hell? Maybe your answer will differ than mine.

 This inner realization made me think and search all my gay friends’ eyes and I can see the gloomy sparkle in everyone’s eyes, as they laugh with gusto, unto each other’s jokes. Yes they have the capability to laugh at their own selves. I can’t help but admire their inner strength, to enjoy each day, to catch each opportunity to create their world of fantasy. To endure all the beatings they got from this very harsh world. But beyond those smiles and hearty laughter, is the desire to live a life that you and I do. 

I noticed, they often times keep around the company of fellow gays or within the circle of people who openly accepted their identity. people who knew and understand what it feels like to experience hurt and rejection. i think, different as they may be, they also know what it is like to want a relationship with God. Often times as i stare into their eyes, i felt the sparkle in their eyes meant different, i felt like it were wondering, asking;  is their hope for any of us?

At times, we tend to be judgmental and discriminating. We tend to look at other people through ourselves or we tend to search for ourselves in someone else’s personality. We forgot that each one of us is unique. We forgot that God created us according to His plan and purpose. Am sure some would raise their eyebrows and blurt out….”
  

What God’s plan and purpose are you talking about? Does God created t them to be gays?” 

                                                                                                        
Am sure not, but I do believe things happen for reason. Maybe good or bad, for now I can’t say why…or what or how. But I do believe, whoever we are, and whatever we are, we all have our rights to live under the same sun created by God. And we all have the right to be whatever and whoever we are, and we can all use our uniqueness to glorify Him that created us according to his image and glory.                                                                                                              

Everyone wants change, We know from personal experience that change is not possible, through our own strength alone. And we know from personal experience how change happens and what change looks like. We don't have any right either to demand change from someones personality. it is only God who knows how his being he or she can be used for His glory. Because we know for sure, that change is only possible through God!